In A Career Frenzy?

For a very long time, my friends and I were in the same situation where it was nearing the end of second year and we didn’t know what on earth to do with our lives. If you’re anything like me, at eighteen, you barely knew anything about yourself, about life out of your little world and what exactly it was you wanted to be.

We worry about the future, job opportunities, university requirements, internships, graduate schemes, extra-curricular activities and flooding our CVs with enough rubbish to make us “stand out”. In this rat race of who has the better grade, or who got the better position, does anyone stop to think if they really enjoy what they are doing? Does money and prestige hold more weight than happiness?

I know many people who have graduated, worked incalculably hard (and still are) for the position they are at. However, there is always the question of “is this really me?” “am I doing what I love?” and the very common “I hate my job”.

Many people fall into the degree or profession they are in, mainly because of their family’s pressure and because of what they assume will be a high paying job. These are decent reasons, but remember it’s a question about the rest of your life, so I do not believe them to be good enough.

There are two ways of approaching this. Firstly, you have got to do your research! You need to meet people in the profession you are considering, read, research, probe, discuss, think, explore and seek counsel. Do not make the mistake I did about being lazy and too laid back about my degree choice. When you fully do your research you will realize if this degree or career choice is indeed the right one for you or not. Question if you would excel at it and reach your maximum potential, or if you would end up hating every moment of it. It will not be an accurate decision making tool, you may still not enjoy it when you are knee high in it, but this is certainly helpful. 

Secondly, you have got to be rational. If you are going to invest a lot of money into an education, it is important that you invest in an appropriate practical one. The reason why I say this is because people go to university to study degrees such as adventure and “what if harry potter was real” (these are actual degrees, google if you doubt). Everyone has something they are good at and in the wise words of Mr Mandela

“There is no passion to be found in playing small- in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living”

My advice to everyone confused about their prospects, speak to career councillors and student support teams, they really do help, trust me. Do not take your future lightly because at the end of the day you will only have you to blame for not having taken the stand for what you actually wanted, and in essence, not taken a stand for your happiness.

For my Kenyan readers, check out  http://uniserveducation.com/site/. They are very helpful and for my British readers try http://sevencareercoaching.co.uk/, I have read many good reviews on them.

I hope this has helped someone.

She Is You, She Is Me, She Is Great

I know I’m a couple of days late, but HAPPY WOMENS DAY ladies!

Although there is a specific day dedicated to women, I strongly believe that every single day is women’s day.  As a woman, we battle through every day. The strength that a woman holds is unimaginable. Men may not agree or believe this, let me enlighten you.

We feel everything. If we like we love, if we laugh we split our sides, if we are upset we cry our eyes out and if we protect, it is till we die. A woman struggles through life trying to find herself within the midst of being a mother, a daughter a wife and a sister. She is a soldier in the battles of every day’s hardships and every feeling she feels.

Society demands us to have our hair tamed, our faces pretty, our figures slim, our clothes extravagant and our manners delicate and respectful. It is with these mannerisms that we are granted a husband; a man who will be that knight in shining armour. Marriage happens, then what? We become a cleaner, a cook, a carer, a sex machine, a hostess and a trophy. It is what we have been training for our whole lives right? So why should we complain?

Enough.

Do not be subjected to what society deems as how a woman should behave and what her life is to be. Protect yourself from this stereotype. As a woman we do have certain responsibilities to our families, but do not be bullied by this. I know of so many women that get married or get into relationships and make their other halves their life. God willingly they will not face hardships, but if they do, who will help them? They have relied so much on this man that they are simply broken and vulnerable. My parents always told us to get an education, build a career and have dreams and when you get married make the marriage a part of your life, not the end cause of your purpose on this earth. Probably the best advice ever.

As a woman you are capable of so much. Have an opinion and never be sorry about it because it means that under that perfectly styled keratin hair you have a brain. Want to be someone, not to be owned by someone.

If I gave you a handful of diamonds, would you throw them around exposing them to everyone? A rational person would keep them safely guarded and safely kept away from the eyes of potential threats. In Islam, women are Allah’s diamonds. That is why we are asked to protect ourselves. There are evil people out there and as a woman we can be subjected to the worst form of punishment for having that beautiful smile, those dazzling eyes, that inviting figure and luscious long hair. As unfair as it is, that is society.

I have seen women oppressed my whole life, yet they claim to be so “liberal” and so “free”. Reflect on what you are doing and whether you are reaching your full capabilities as a woman, or are you just a pretty face in a crowd?

Till next time ladies, keep living those dreams.

A Powerful Girl

They say that the difference between who you are and who you want to be is how far you run, how high you jump, and how much harder you go when you want to quit. 
Meera Khoda, a girl who did the impossible. She took her future and her happiness with both hands and created magic in the process. Her journey of weight loss has been an inspiration to all of us who sit behind excuses for making changes in our lives. Her remarkable story is a living proof of how easy it is to be whoever it is you want to be. 
Sixty kilos this is what Meera has encountered and overcome while inspiring so many:

1) Why did you decide to lose weight? What inspired you?
I basically started to lose weight when I Started studying Beauty Therapy and decided that I wanted to make it my career. I had to look healthy in order to prove to others that I can make them feel better about themselves, and I came to realize that I wasn't really setting a very good example. I weighed 129 kilos then, and I clearly didn't have the physical ability to be a Therapist (imagine going in for a massage or a facial and having your therapist's tummy touching you more than her hands?! Exactly) So I took some time to myself and I decided I would try to be healthier and more active, and I sort of woke up one day and said "hey, get off your butt and do something useful" so I started incorporating bits of exercise into my everyday routine. I came to realize that being more active was actually working, and that I actually enjoyed having something different to do every day! My inspiration was the fact that I had found my true calling, and I had to sacrifice some things to get to where I want to be. I guess its part of growing up and maturing- you set your determination and you fight for it. And the people around me were super supportive, which has been the most helpful! 

2) How did you do it? 
- Basically I started by cutting down the amount of food I ate. Anyone who knows me knows that I used to eat atleast three peoples worth of food every meal time. I'd eat anything and everything, whenever. Food was kind of my solace, my escape from any negativity or unhappiness. I started by cutting out sodas, and true to my word I haven't had a soda for the past three years, and I feel absolutely fine! I've actually kind of forgotten what it tastes like, Haha. Then I cut out sugar. All forms of granulated sugar, that includes boxed juices, candy, chocolate, processed foods. (yeah I know that sound scary doesn't it?) Then... I cut out oils. I resorted to boiling, steaming and grilling or baking. It really was difficult to go from eating chips most of the time to just eating boiled broccoli, but somehow I managed to force myself to not think about it. And that is indeed what helped, the way I thought about food. I would eat my veggies and think "hey if I can imagine what a potato tastes like, I can make this broccoli taste better" but then I found that little voice in the back of my head that would ask "why on earth do you need to imagine what that potato tastes like? You don't need that!" and every time I put something in my mouth I would hear that voice, and one day I embraced it. I started enjoying the simple taste of my boiled vegetables and my grilled chicken, and soon I replaced more meals with healthy high-protein, low-carb versions. Soon I found that I was digesting my meals better, my skin was getting clearer, I had more energy, and best of all, I was losing weight! By that time I had finished studying and I was on my way to being a qualified Therapist. But I was still at 90 kilos, which was still very unhealthy.  So I joined a gym and I would get in there early every morning, run for an hour and do a bit of cardio for the next two hours before heading off to work. I will be honest when I say that plan failed for me, because the moment I felt that, because I was going to the gym, it was "okay to eat anything", I went back to eating my usual carbs and oils and sugars. And ofcourse all the weight came ruusshing back, so I ended up back to square one. That's when I realized that it was indeed the nutrition that was playing the biggest role. I immediately stopped going to the gym and stuck to my clean eating programs. I tried several different diets and they all had their own effects, but the one that worked best was The HCG Diet- the most intense & strict diet of its kind. By that time I was mentally prepared to go for it, because I had slowly built up the strength to learn to say "NO" to the wrong things, and YES to the right ones. So I went on the 40 day diet and that really super charged the weightloss, and in the four months during and after the diet, basically the maintenance phase, I went from 92 kilos to 77! That was the most inspiring and selfmotivating part. My excess weight just melted off and I felt better and better every day! 

3) What obstacles did you face?
- The hardest part is fighting temptation and having the willpower to stick to eating a certain way when the people around you are happy eating whatever they want to. I had to be very strict with myself, I spent hours a day talking to myself subconsciously, telling myself not to worry, that I'd be alright, and that I honestly did not need to resort to food to get my way out of life's everyday Challenges. I would take a walk or listen to some good music or dance, to keep my mind from thinking about bingeing. Truth is, when we come across some hardships in life, we stress. And when we stress we resort to comforting things such as food, or alcohol or smoking or drugs. In my case I resorted to comfort eating, and most part of it was psychological. I would find that I've unconsciously eaten a whole packet of crisps, but I'm not satisfied, so I'd have another. And possibly one or two more after (cringe). It was incredibly difficult not to run to the kitchen when I needed some comfort. I would be walking towards the food cabinet and suddenly change direction and walk the other way, because I would fight with myself, asking why I really needed to do that. Some would call it confusion & chaos, but I personally knew it was for the better. Soon I had gathered enough mental energy to block out the unclear signals that caused the temptation to binge, and I found myself getting stronger and stronger, and now I'm at my peak, because I am out of that phase of resorting to unhealthy bingeing. I guess having a more positive environment around you helps more than is believable! 

4) What kept you motivated?
- The fact that I was losing weight really steadily and managing to keep it off, was the most motivating. Also the fact that I had more energy, more confidence, more strength, and I was able to do what I love and actually make a big positive difference in someone else's life because of my own abilities: it all came together to be one super-motivator to keep on going and not give in to negativity. And the fact that I could get nice clothes in my size, oh my god. That was the best part, going into a clothes shop and not having to buy the biggest size, but being able to buy something that would let me fit into my generation's trends and keep me from wearing something someone much older would wear. That was indeed one of the best feelings! 


5) How do you feel? Have other parts of your life changed?
- Well till today I still have that feeling of being "the biggest girl", I guess it never really goes away no matter how hard you try, but with time it gets easier to handle. I haven't yet reached my goal weight of 60 Kilos, so I still feel quite unsettled, but I'm hoping to get there this year. The best changes are the facts that I have more confidence, I'm not as shy and negative as I used to be, and I feel much more energetic and happier! I've learned to embrace life and to be more thankful for every single thing around me because it is indeed a spectacular world we live in. I've learned to see things as they are and not for what they should be and they aren't. I've learned to be kinder and more caring and definitely more responsible. 

6) Advice you would give to girls struggling with weight problems
- My advice to ANYBODY struggling with weight problems: if you know you're Struggling, you should have the courage to bring yourself out of it. Every single soul is SO special, we all deserve to be loved and to enjoy this life we are given, but being healthier makes you appreciate many more things because of the energy that comes with it. The mind is the most powerful thing in the world, and the way you think determines the way you live. My advice is to never give up, just inspire yourself and give yourself all the love and care you truly deserve, but just do it the right way. Take it slow, one step at a time, let it unfold naturally. Lots of love :) xxxxx 

...Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure...